My little beauties

Some of you know the history of my very interesting family dynamic. Some of you have not been blessed (or burdened with my crazy family tree). To make a very long story short my older sister had my niece when she was in high school (she is now 11 years old) and my younger sister had two kids in her early twenties. She has issues of her own, which creates a need for much help with her children. I love both of my sisters dearly, but sometimes it is tough being the only one with infertility. It makes it that much harder to be the only woman in my family (of very fertile people) to be infertile.

I have been helping raise my niece and two nephews since they were born. My husband has always accepted the children as our surrogate children and so we spend as much time as possible with them. Spending time with them is what keeps us getting out of bed in the morning. Any free time we have is spent with them. They stay with us quite a bit. Hearing their little whispers in the morning, when they think we are sleeping... when they laugh at absolutely nothing... when I hear them say something that I know they got from me. It is what makes life worth living.

As much as we love them, it also hurts quite a bit. When we have to bring them home and say goodbye, it always hurts a little. And the older they get, the worse it gets. When someone says to me "you can't know what it is like to have kids til you have your own." Grr. We know what it is like. We know how it feels to be parents. The whole situation frustrates the crap our of us because we want nothing more than to bring another child into this family and raise all of these children together and it seems like that is the hardest thing for us to do.