Beach Report

Day 8 of vacation and so far things have been 50% wonderful and 50% hell. The wonderful part has been being away from home, being with my family, having time to relax. The hellish part has come in the form of having to watch six thousand babies and pregnant women. Pregnant women pushing baby strollers. It has also come in the form of a migraine headache that was so bad I missed a day at the beach. The worst part is that I FINALLY heard from the RE clinic and got yet another piece of bad news. The couple that picked us through the donor program has decided to back out. They decided to back out because my Mom had breast cancer a while back. That in itself doesn't bother me. It's that they had my demographic and background info for weeks and chose me anyway, then decided that they weren't comfortable with the family history. That locked me into them and I matched with them. So despite the fact that I was other peoples first choice, it was too late to be matched with anyone else. So now I will have to wait yet another month to match.

The next list went out this week, so the damned waiting game continues. On and on and on and on. You would think I would be used to this by now, but it never gets easier. I am so pissed. How can I get so much shit time after time after time. Matching so quickly was supposed to be my consolation prize for losing the baby. Now that is taken away too. I am so sick of this but not sick enough to quit. When the hell is this roller coaster ever going to stop???