It dawned on me yesterday that a couple of days ago should have been the beginning of 12th week of pregnancy. I sort of realized half way through the day that I would have been entering my second trimester. I can't help but feel like I am supposed to be so happy right now. Instead I am stuck dealing with the grief and the sadness. I am supposed to be heading back to my last semester of teaching "before the baby is born." This was going to be my summer vacation "before the baby is born." Now who the hell know what the future will bring. It is just all so depressing and frustrating. I knew that big milestones like this would be hard, but I guess you can't prepare yourself for just how much.
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