Well, I know it is the hormones talking when the depression and doubt rears it's head, but man this sucks. Today I have found myself asking two questions that I have yet to ask. First is 'why am I doing this'??? Why am I putting us both through this hell for something that might never happen? That brings me to my second question; "is this really ever going to happen???"
Up until now I have been very positive that all of this is worth it. Now I just can't help but wonder. Bry works all day and then comes home and works his ass off on his freelance project in hopes that he will get the next paycheck in time for the IVF. I have no idea what in the hell we are going to do if that doesn't happen. I dread the thought of using thousands of dollars worth of meds, getting down to the ER and not being able to pay. They would have to turn us away. He is miserable working all the time, therefore I am miserable. Then I have to "shoot up" more hormones and I am even more miserable.
I wish I had a magic 8 ball that could tell me whether all of this was going to be worth it. Man this process sucks.
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2 comments:
I know that it looks bleak right now, but have faith. This is going to work for you guys and you will find a way to pay for it. It may suck at the moment, but it's only temporarily.
And, for the record, you're doing this b/c the two of you will make fantastic parents and deserve it more than anyone else I know! :)
Life would be so boring if you knew what was going to happen. Welcome to choice and consequence. I guess you are grown up.
You don't get to know if you made a good decision until after you've made it. But either way, you will know something, which will make decision making a little easier in the future.
You keep blaming the meds and I'll keep blaming my favorite sports teams :)
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