I am not sure if I ever posted what happened with breast feeding and pumping for the girls. After the bout of mastitis I started considering stopping pumping. It hurt, I produced very little milk and I had made it to the 6 week mark which was my primary goal. I vascillated quite a bit over the issue or should I say I obsessed. I wanted so badly to nurse my girls. I read every book I could, I bought every accessory I would need, I rented the pump, I bought another.. I did everything right. Unfortunately it just wasn't meant to be for the girls and I. Since my milk never fully came in my supply bottomed out after the mastitis. With the support of my extremely supportive husband I gave it up.
I weaned gradually and stopped about 3 weeks ago. We are now fully formula feeding the girls which has its ups and downs. I feel so slighted that I did not get to nurse. I really, really, really wanted to be able to do it. Since it took so much medical intervention to get pregnant, stay pregnant and then have the girls I wanted to do this one thing naturally. I feel very cheated. It is also a huge expense that we did not plan for. I am shocked how much formula costs and for two it is nuts.
The good part is that I no longer have to pump. I also can sleep through night feedings and let my Mom or Bry feed them. As sad as I am that I did not get to nurse more than a few weeks I am glad I did that much. I also know that I did the best I could for my girls.
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5 comments:
You DID do what's best for you and the girls. I'm sorry that BF'ing didn't work out for you but I give you props for everything you tried to make it work. Never doubt yourself and the decision you made, b/c you gave it your all!
No matter whether it be at 6 weeks or 9 months, it's a hard decision to face. I feel the same as you -- with everything I went through to get pg and stay pg, I hoped that BF would be an easy thing for us too.
But it's okay. Our babies will be fine and hopefully someday they'll understand what we've gone through for them. ((hugs))
6 weeks of pumping/BF is a great accomplishment! Be proud of yourself for hitting that milestone as there are many moms that for whatever reason couldn't make it that long. You have done what is best for you and the girls. No one can EVER say that you didn't try. Whether your little girls are FF or BF, they are going to grow up to be wonderful people :). Take comfort in the fact that you did everything you could. Like I told Mandy - you did good mommy!
Aww, Kris...I know how bad you wanted it...you gave it your best shot and those girls are going to be thankful in a million other ways!!
You did great. You gave it your all, and you fought the good fight.
I'm sorry it did not work out. Sometimes life just ain't fair.
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Wow I swear we are long lost twins. I too had such a hard time breastfeeding my twin boys. I would try for 30 min just to get them latched then they would suck forever never actually getting much food. So I pumped for 2 months and then gave it up. I never produced more than 4 oz a pump and that is not enough to feed even one baby nevertheless two. I think moms of twins just don't have the time to pump. I would sit there pumping watching my twins scream at me because they wanted to be held and loved and I said "Screw this". My babies seemed much happier, healthier and grew quicker once they got on all formula. I wanted to breastfeed more than anything, but in the end sometimes it is not the best thing for you or the babies.
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