For some reason I got to thinking about how things used to be. The part of me that was an infertile woman will never go away. Even though I now have two beautiful children I still consider myself to be part of that "clan." When women I know who have kids talk of having more children like you can pick one up at the grocery it takes everything in me not to smack her. I just can't help but be so thankful this time of year for all that I have. I know some people who read this are still fighting the good fight and sometimes I feel like I don't express enough how much my heart still aches for what I went through and for what all of you are going through. When I think of the babies I have lost or the pain that I have endured I still want to cry. I guess that pain is never going away. I refuse to blow smoke up your a$$ and be one of those "if it happened to me it will happen to you" people... I hate those people. I guess I just wanted to pay remembrance to how hard it is to be a reproductively challenged woman this time of year.
When I am out and about and hugging my babies I promise to do it quickly because I know that someone like us might be watching and dying a little inside.
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1 comments:
I know exactly how you feel! I had 3 miscarriages before finally having my first son. I think those painful days shaped who I am now. I can never forget how hard I fought to have these children and 3 years later I still wonder who the babies I lost would have been. Every holiday,pregnancy announcement, first birthday, baby shower, etc. will be bittersweet from now on. I think suffering from infertility is the greastest lesson in empathy there is. No matter how great my joy is I know there are people nearby that are struggling.
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