Clarification

It seems that I must issue some clarification about our failed IVF cycle. Frankly I am a little frustrated that I have to, but I do. For those of you who read this casually you can ignore this one.

After I posted about our failed cycle there came a barrage of phone calls to me and mostly to my Mom. They ranged from "why didn't you tell me" to "why would they do that with 'all of Abby's problems' ". This is just a perfect example of why WE DIDN'T TELL ANYONE. First of all I explained in my original blog post why we kept it a secret. Did all of you tell the world when you were trying to get pregnant? Just because I need a lot of help to get pregnant doesn't mean the whole world is privy. And my mother was SWORN to secrecy. I asked my immediate family to keep it to themselves because getting to someday make that announcement is something we want very badly.

As far as Abby's "problems". If you think we shouldn't have more kids because of Abby than you don't know my daughter very well. There has never been a happier, more joyful, sweet child in the whole world. She and her sister are the loves of my life and if I had 10 more kids just like Abigail I would be a VERY lucky woman. Yes, she has more to overcome than most babies but she is 100 times stronger than anyone I know. Her internal fortitude leaves me in awe some days. I am sure that kid is going to cure cancer or fix world hunger or do something amazing some day.

I'm sorry if I am offending anyone, I don't mean to do that. I know that people are reacting from what they think is care and concern and I do appreciate that. That being said I am 30 years old. I am a good mother and if I want 10 more children I think I have as much right as the next person. Infertility is a terrible thing and unless you live through it you cannot understand what the process is like. It takes an enormous toll. Having people second guess your decision to try for more kids adds another level of stress that no woman needs, let alone one who has to live through infertility. People have asked me why I would put myself through it again. Here is why:







Oh, and one last thing. I feel like I need to make a general statement about my blog. I LOVE this blog. I LOVE having this forum to express myself, to keep family and friends "in the loop" and I especially love the catharsis that happens when I get it all out. Some days my blog feels a little like my only sanity. I am glad that so many people can read and do read. One thing that this isn't is a place for people to feel left out or angry about what I post. I need this for myself and I don't want to feel like I start having to watch what I say.