Taking on Water

Those of you who know me well know that I am not the type to ask for help. I think my main goal in life is to be Wonder Woman (minus the tights and cape... so 1980's). Most days I feel like I hit the jackpot. I have kids... I have a husband... I have a wonderful family... we get by okay. Because of those things I HATE to hear myself whine about my idiotic woes. SO many blogs that I read are filled with true hurt; cancer, loss, death, pain. And here I sit bitching about being tired and overwhelmed.

All that being said I promised I would be more honest with myself. I used to find this blog so cathartic and lately it is like a glorified picture album. I think I need my outlet back. So, here goes...

I said last week that we were in a full family rut. Well, it feels like that rut has become more of a system failure. We are a ship and we are taking on water. Some days I feel like I have a hydraulic system to combat the water. Other days, like yesterday, I am using a teaspoon. Our life has become a series of appointments, doctors, football, soccer, errands and whining. It can really get a little overwhelming at time. I suck at asking for help. I suck at saying I am sinking. I suck at admitting that I can not do it all by myself. The biggest problem, as I see it, is that I WANT to do it. I WANT it done my way. Yup, that's stupid and selfish and pointless... but it's me. I like things done a certain way. Call me OCD, call me anal, call me an overbearing bitch. (I probably have been called all of those things ;D )I just think it's too late to change all that.

So that's life. I am barely keeping my head above water but I thank God every day that it still is above water. I just hope it stays that way. :D