I was asked in reference to my last post about embryo adoption these questions: Do you even wonder about those babies then? Can you go on with your life and NOT be distracted by the fact that your children (DNA wise) are out there?
Excellent questions indeed! I thought it over and am ready to respond. The long and short is that OF COURSE I wonder about those babies. Are they out there? Did they ever get implanted and eventually born (statistically the unfortunate answer is probably no)? Are they being raised well? Do they have parents who love them? What do they look like?
That being said I see this as a test of my moral beliefs. Wouldn't I be a hypocrite if my possible curiosity about my DNA outweighed my feelings on how embryos should be treated? I think you really find out your own beliefs and morality when the dilemmas become greater. I am proud that I was able to stick to what I think is right and moral and feel good about it.
I will think about these potential children for the rest of my life. But I will also be able to look myself in the mirror every day of my life and know that I chose to help a couple, like Brian and I, hopefully become parents. People who go through the hell of trying to adopt embryos are not doing it to mistreat their children. I can smile knowing that yes, maybe I have a genetic piece of me out there, but that is NOT MY CHILD.
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3 comments:
Wow. Great attitude and I am impressed that you can be guided by your moral beliefs. Practice what you oreach. That is AWESOME and rare. As I said before, I know god-loving families who chose to abort a baby with downs bec. they don;t want a child with challenges.
If I were in your position, I tend to think I would donate as well. I know that is a right and moral and wonderful decision. But I, unlike you, might not be able to do so in the end.
Here's a new angle: What if you knew that the child would be raised in a white supremacist family? Or if the child was raised in a family without religion? Or by a gay family? Or by any family that is not "traditional" or goes against what you believe in? Does that change your views?
Not a trick question, just trying to stretch our answers here. While, as I said, I would most likely donate as well, not for religious reasons per se but more for the chance to help a family that needs it. But if I know they would be raised in a racist family, ugh, I am not sure what I would do.
Honestly, what I would probably do is do embryo transfers until the cows came home. :D Since it is purely a scenario that couldn't happen (since it is all done privately) it's hard to venture a guess how to handle it. Obviously if I had any choice over it I would avoid that white supremacist family like the plague. Just not a lifestyle I can get my head around.
As far as a family of gay parents, that would be a-ok with me. I have no problem with gay parents. And if it was a family that had different views than mine it really wouldn't bother me at all. Different views is what makes the world go around. While I may feel that I am right ( :D ) I know that my opinion is just that, opinion.
It doesn't bother me that my genetic child might be raised by someone who is very different than me. Like I said before I see this child not as my own, but as theirs. They would have the right to instill their own values.
I have been working on a post about embryo adoption and anonymity. I will be posting later this week. That should be a good post with some more interesting questions.
It is truly special when someone can stand by their beliefs when they're tested (assuming their beliefs don't involve mass murder or any such business). It's great that you had this chance to test yourself and wonderful that you can be proud of your decision.
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