When I was in college (and yes remember, I was a psych student) one of the concept in parenting we learned about was alpha versus beta parenting styles. Basically the difference between the alpha parent and beta parent were outlined. Here is a very brief synopsis of what I learned:
Alpha Parent - This is the parent who provide the majority of care for the child. They are the responsible party the majority of the time for the well-being of said child. I remember my professor explaining how when this parent goes on "break" they will still always be monitoring for the child's needs.
Beta Parent - This is the parent who provides some but not the bulk of the care-giving. This parent thrives on the existence of the alpha parent. When this caregiver is in charge they often are in charge while still having the "services" of the alpha parent nearby.
When I learned about this theory as a twenty-something year-old I thought it was stupid. Just another hokey psycho-babble theory to commit to memory. But now, as a Mom and a wife, I find myself thinking about this theory often. I find peace in the fact that someone actually took the time to theorize about what has become my reality. I am the alpha parent. Not because I wanted to be that primary person but by circumstance. My husband is busy with work and life and so much else. And I am the MOM. It is my job to fix meals and wipe butts and do countless physical, occupational and speech therapy visits. That isn't a part of my husbands world. When I sleep in on Saturdays I still listen for hissy fits, boo-boos and melt-downs. I constantly monitor our environment for potential problems, whether I am the one directly "watching" the girls or not. I guess this is just part of being a Mom. Problem is, you never get to shut your brain down and enjoy down time. Boy do I miss down time.
2 comments:
Yep... I hear ya!
Well put!
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