I am obviously not a twin rather I am a lucky daily observer. Sometimes I feel like I am an adventurer in a foreign land. I get to glimpse into this world they share that I can never, ever be a part of. They have their own language, currency, laws, manners of behavior. It is simply amazing.
When the girls were little (and even when I was pregnant) it shocked me how enthralled people were with twins. If I had a nickel for every person that has said to me "I always wanted twins" or "I secretly had hoped for twins" I would be a rich woman. I can't say I ever stopped to think about it before I had them. I always thought it was neat but never as incredible as so many people I have come across.
Over the past two and a half years I have come to realize what is so incredible about twindom. It is somewhat indescribable how two people can be so immersed in each other. Keep in mind, mine are not the type of twins that spend every second together and do everything with each other. In fact mine can easily be separated for short periods of time and spend a lot of their time during the day playing near each other but not necessarily with each other. The odd thing is that you get this sense that even when they are not right with each other they still have this connection that allows them to know what the other is doing, thinking and feeling. It's almost like the primal, maternal bond and mother has with her child. Where you can look at your child and know exactly what is going to happen next. It is amazing.
It puts me in awe that they can be so separate but so in-tune with each other. It must be amazing to have this person who has always been there. Since the moment you "were" they were there. They know you. They understand you. They are in some matters of speaking a part of you.
I am lucky that I get to have one foot in the door of this world.
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3 comments:
This is sooo truth!!! Look at my twins;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc2KzU18ow4
Oh, my heart aches. I grieve every day that my twins won't have this, and that Penny won't have this in her twin. They are really more like singletons now - just the same age. I think I will be sad forever. I was so looking forward to seeing this.
F - I am so sorry that your girls won't get it in the traditional sense. I do honestly think about you all the time with this issue. When I was pg and they told us Abby wouldn't walk or talk I remember thinking how much that would effect grace and how I would miss out.
What I do know is that the bond they have (although it isn't so obvious) is something we can't ever understand. They say that twins (or HOM's) that spontaneously reduce or are lost along the way often report a very real sense of loss and missing. I think you will get to see more of the bond (in a very unique way) as they get older.
I do understand that grieving for losing that part of the "normal" twin parenting experience. It is a loss. ((HUGS))
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