Great book

I think I mentioned recently that I have managed to find my way back to reading. I have replaced my old fiction, history and chick lit for books about sensory integration disorder, living with special needs kids, general parenting and other mom-related books. Recently I have read some good and some not so good (remember that awesome book with the terrible ending?). A fellow blogger and fellow mom of a non-traditional twin set recommended a fantastic book, My Baby Rides The Short Bus. It sounds terrible but is an amazing book. It is a book written by parents of special needs kids and shines a light on what it is REALLY like to live with a child with disabilities. This book has made me laugh, cry, think and so many other emotions.

Most afternoons I sit with the girls for about a half an hour. I put on Backyardigans or Gabba and I sit down with my book. Gracie usually sits on my lap and pretends to read. Many days she asks me to read out loud. Today I was reading an excerpt from that book out loud to her. It was a section on a child with Asperger's and many sensory issues like Gracie has.

Right when she asked me to start reading out loud the passage read, "During calm times, when I want to embrace him, he pushes me away. He can't tolerate the feel of my skin on his; it is repulsive to him. When he's raging, I can't tolerate him. I don't want to hold him. I want to leave until it's finished' I want to go away. I am repulsed." It felt so pointed. Me reading a passage like that out loud to her. The child who I love so fiercely but can make me feel so awful when she has a crash and bash day. It brought tears to my eyes. I stopped reading and she looked at me and said "Mommy you have water in your eyes." I obviously played it off because she is way to young to understand. It just felt so nice to know this feeling is not unique. That I am not the worlds worst mother on those days where I simply can't stand her.

I am not alone!