How do you explain it

This week I was in the grocery store with the girls. Gracie was having a very, very rough day. She was up early (thank you Abby) which is a terrible way to start off. She was grumpy and touchy and everything was bothering her. When we say that Gracie is touchy or things are bothering her I mean everything. Anything from the temperature in the car or store to the sounds of a stores air conditioner. Her clothes make her nuts. Her hair makes her nuts. Everything eats away at her. This is just part of SPD.

Well, anyway... I was at the check out and Gracie had her pacie in her mouth. Trust me, she needed it. Gracie gets a lot of her sensory input through sucking. She has a lot of oral motor needs and therefore we still permit her the pacie. So the woman at the checkout comments that her daughter had the same kind of pacie. I smiled politely and said something vague like "they are lifesavers or something". I could see her wheels start turning. So she asks "how old is she"? I felt like saying none of your damn business because I knew where this was headed. I answered honestly and she says "and her pediatrician hasn't told you to get rid of the pacifier yet"?

This is the point when I want to scream. I have had this brand of conversation a million times. Why does she have a pacie? Why do I still carry Abby? Why is she having a tantrum over something so small at her age? Why does that noise bother her? Why is she covering her ears? Why are they chewing gum when they are so little? Why, why, why, why, why?

I want to go on a rant about how my child has sensory processing dysfunction and yes that is on the spectrum and if she doesn't have her pacie she can barely function on a day like this and why the hell do you feel the need to make me explain this in the grocery store. I don't. I grit my teeth and say "my daughter has sensory issues and the pacifier is a necessity". I'm not sure I even owed her that much but I hoped that it might be enough to make her think twice about asking something like that. Probably not. Some people are just dull bulbs. She was obviously one of them.

Ugh...