Such a simple word... friend. We all have some. Some more than others. I am not talking about the Facebook variety but rather the "know your secrets" kind. I have one that lives far away... REALLY far away. I miss her even though she never lived close by. Recently she (as she does on a very regular basis) brought a smile to my sour puss. It got me thinking about how friends as an adult are so different than friends in your youth. When I was younger I would have thought a friend you only talked to by phone or e-mail was a waste. If they couldn't be there IN PERSON then what was the point. In that similar vain I watched people move away and said what I knew was a final goodbye.
But here I am 32 years old and appreciating all the friends I have. Again, I am talking about those rare friends who know what to say to you when you are down. Who can tell you you're wrong without hurting your feelings. Why is it that the older you get the harder it becomes. Why can't we stay surrounded by the people who make us feel fun and strong and worthwhile? Why does it have to be such a struggle to find a herd to be in? I miss having a group... a herd... a gaggle of friends who laughed at my jokes and had time to get a beer or a cup of coffee.
I realize that this is part of getting older. You change. Your social needs change. You focus on your kids and not so much on yourself. I get that. I just wish that a part of that change was making friends who were in that same place at the same time. Maybe I just need to be looking a little harder for them and appreciating the ones I have even more.
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3 comments:
I've found that even though I have fewer friends as I get older, the quality of the friendships is beyond compare. Perhaps that's why we surround ourselves with so many people in our youth -- so we have a large sample pool to pick our ideal friends from. ;)
M - That's a good way to think of it!
I think that is interesting how different things can be for individuals. I actually had a hard time finding close friends after college when we all when are seperate ways. Once I became a mom, I joined a mom's group with children the same age. There are about 12 of us and we all became instant friends due to the bond of children. We hang out together with and without children.
Maybe as your children get older and begin to make friends you will become friends with their friends parents? Just a thought.
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