Stressed!

Do you ever have those days where you feel like you are in a small room and all of a sudden the walls start closing in???

I feel like I have been having a lot of those days lately. I feel like I can't put my finger on any one thing that is bugging me but it feels a little like drowning. So I got to thinking... if I write it down will it help? Will it serve as one of my many lists? Will it help me feel like I have a better grasp of what is bothering me?

I don't know but I am willing to give it a try. Frankly I am tired of watching the walls get closer and closer.

So, here goes... My top ten list of stressors. :D

1. Family stuff. Arg... I wish I didn't have to be so damn vague but I am not at liberty to divulge. I will just say that being a member of a close knit family is incredible but it is also incredibly stressful sometimes.

2. Abby. Oh man... this kid. She is killing me. Last weekend she flew off the handle over one of her weird obsessions and she tried to hit my baby niece. I was mortified. Thank God my sister is so awesome about Abby and her issues. (I am so thankful for that!!!)

3. That brings me to #3... The Behaviorist. I finally heard back and now we must wait for a phone interview to see if she is even eligible. Once they (Hopefully) find her eligible it will take 6 - 8 weeks for an appointment. I am thinking that by then I will probably have nothing but grey hair left.

4. Money - What is it about the post Christmas slump that surprises me. We don't use any credit during the holidays so we are always more "strapped" right after Christmas. Next year I am skimping on presents and avoiding this variety of stress. ;D It also doesn't help that I don't get a paycheck until 4 weeks after I start teaching courses.

5. My Resolutions - I resolved this year to finally lose the rest of weight I have been battling. Since the new year has been rung in I have actually gained weight. That which was coming easy in the armer months is serving to be such an incredible battle.

6. 2011 - What has this year sucked so epically so far?

7. The laundry list of appointments. When the girls were younger we found ourselves in a specialists office almost every week. Now that we have more of a handle on their medical issues the appointments are slightly fewer. That being said when they come around they seem to come around in the form of 10 appointments in a very short period of time. I am sick of doctors. I am sick of doctors offices. I am sick of insurance companies and billing and writing checks for hundreds of dollars to have doctors to tell me "keep doing what you're doing".

8. Insurance - I am in the process of appealing 5 medical claims. This isn't unusual for us since Blue Cross has a nasty little habit of incorrectly paying our claims. I happen to know our plan inside and out but that doesn't stop them from trying their best to "dupe" us.

9. Sleep - Why am I not getting any??? Still???

10. Not knowing what do do next. There are so many things that I just don't know how to handle. We are dealing with whether to begin the process of applying for a service dog for Abby. Do we go to a behavioralist or a psychologist for Abby? What will the appointment with the new neurogeneticist yield? Do we want to participate in the research study for an RS related gene mutation? So many questions. So few answers.

If anyone gets their hands on a crystal ball please let me know where you got it. :D