Obviously adding a third child to my brood isn't going to be easy. I totally get that. Instead of worrying about two almost five year olds I will have to worry about them PLUS the needs of a tiny person PLUS make sure the two bigger kids don't kill the little kid. ;D But I still find myself wondering in some ways will it be easier this go around.
There are a few reasons. First and foremost is the fact that there is only going to be one of him. And yes, I know that I will still have THREE kids not one but having only one newborn has to be easier than two... one of which was colicky. The other thought that keeps swimming in my head is that all of that "new mother" worry and angst will be lighter. I think of all the time I spent worrying about EVERY. SINGLE. DETAIL. I can't see myself doing it this time. I will have too much on my plate to be worrying about every single wet diaper and keeping track of how many minutes he sleeps.
So will this make it any easier? I don't know. I've read mixed thoughts. Some people swear adding the third child is the straw that breaks the camels back. We have a neighbor who refers to it as going from man coverage to a zone defense. :D (I like that one!) But other people swear that with each child you add your experience is that much greater and thus... a little easier.
I guess for now I want to live with the delusion that it WILL be easier in some way. I guess I need that in order to sleep at night. Or at least try to sleep. ;D
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I have one kid so I cannot speak from personal experience, but anecdotally, I see both scenarios--have a cousin who added a third and it has really balanced their family and everyone is so happy and content and lovely--have a friend who added a third and she and her husband are drowning, she actually told me yesterday, as she rocked her baby in her arms, that she has regrets. If that is what she is willing to admit, I can only imagine what she is truly feeling. I think it has to do with "perfection" and "guilt" and "partnership". The people who want things to be perfect, and will feel guilty and inadequate when they are not, and have a partner who does not do his (or her) fair share, will drown. Those who can blow stuff off and revel in the chaos, and have partners who are present physically and emotionally, will probably thrive. Sometimes it is a conscious choice one can make and sometimes it takes years of behavioral training to let go of perfection and sometimes one never really can no matter how hard one tries--that need for perfection and propensity toward guilt and inadequacy always exist. I don't know you but I suspect you are able to let things go and laugh it off, and are less concerned about being perfect than you are about being happy. And your husband seems very supportive and involved, so I suspect this baby will be a blessing in your home and not a burden.
Anon - You brought up some great points. I can truly see how it could go either way. We have learned, through life experiences, how to laugh off the little stuff and only pay attention to what matters. Hoping that's what happens when Baby shows up. :D
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