Competition

One of the things I don't love about being a Mom (particularly a stay at home Mom) is the competition between mothers. I am a VERY competitive person but when it comes to my kids I think they are perfect the way they are. I work very hard not to compare them to each other so you better believe I don't agree with comparing them to those around them. I am well aware that Abby is behind her like age peers. I also know that Grace is academically well above her peers. But what the heck difference does that really make.

Today was one of those days. On the walk to the pool I was accosted by a neighbor whose little boy will be in Grace's class. She made sure to tell me that they were busy spending the morning working on addition and subtraction worksheets. I smiled and said "that's great" but what I wanted to say was "Well, aren't you the mother of the year. Don't worry, I'm not running this year. Maybe next year." I didn't. I also wanted to make sure I informed her that the child study team told me that one of my children tested the highest they had ever seen. Again, I didn't. I held my tongue.

I knew I shouldn't let something so small bother me so I shook it off. I have been anxious about school coming and the girls being split up so I am probably being more sensitive than normal. While we were at the pool we were introduced to a little boy that will be in Abby's class. So far the population of kids that we have met have been difficult to take as parents. I am not sure how to put it into to words without sounding like the world's biggest jerk but I am going to try.

When your child is starting school you worry about so much. Will they be lonely? Will they miss me? Will they like the teacher? Will they like their classmates? You don't typically think about things like what kind of population they will be with. With Abby that is a huge concern for us. When we look at her we see "normal". I am sure plenty of people would look at her and disagree but to us she is just Abby. When we see the kids she will be in class with it is hard. We don't see her as belonging to this special population. I don't think any parent sees their kid this way.

We have asked ourselves over and over "will she fit in"? Not in the traditional sense of how will she get along with her peers but in the sense of "will she be the highest functioning kid? In the middle? We know she isn't the lowest. But will she "belong"???

We have listened to our guts and our heads and our hearts and we still feel a little lost. In the end we listened to the school. They felt strongly about her placement and we are trusting them. We just pray that they are right and even more importantly if they aren't right will they admit their wrong and put her where she belongs.

Right about now I wish we could just be dealing with the run of the mill pre-kindergarten sadness...